Running with scissors in my mind

The X – A Brief Introduction

The X were the purest people on Earth. They had banished everything imperfect from their culture until it shone like a perfectly spherical white diamond. The only accepted interval of their music was the octave and the rhythm proceeded in even steady beats. Their literature consisted only of one word sentences (hence they had abolished all interpunction since there was no need for it). All letters of their alphabet were symmetrical and upper case. All Xian paintings consisted only of a single black dot on a white, perfectly smooth surface. (This should not lead you to believe they all looked alike. There was full freedom as to the placing of the dot – although extremes were avoided – and it’s size, as long as it did not dominate the white space.) All artistic expression was anonymous since pride of achievement was considered a socially subversive sentiment. However, to prevent confusion between legitimate works of art and artifacts that could accidentally be interpreted as such, all works of art were signed, but with the same signature. (Different signatures were used for different forms of art to facilitate artistic discourse; for example, all music was signed WOUT AHMOT, sculpture HAOWAW MAAMOXT, etc.)

Reproduction was carried out by two X gently holding and placing the female onto the male’s erect member and then raising and lowering her rhythmically at a speed prescribed by regulation (the speed found by experiment to most often produce the quickest orgasm for the male). After the male ejaculation the female was turned and held upside down to increase the chances of propagation.

The children were kept in wards from birth until propulsion into society at the age of eleven. During this time all necessary schooling and training were accomplished. All production and most of the service sector was automated so employment was almost exclusively ritual. Even the higher administration was mostly of a formal nature since the rules governing all sectors of society were both crystal clear and extremely detailed. Whenever crime did occur it was almost exclusively ignored, since to admit the existence of crime would have been to admit imperfection. Only the most severe cases were punished, for example walking in the wrong direction on the sidewalks or failing to greet a fellow citizen in the manner prescribed by law.

Elections were considered unnecessary and eventually abolished since the results always favoured the WXW (WOW XAXAX WUMUW, roughly translated as United Popular Party) to such an extent that any votes for other parties soon came to be considered an expression of public humour. (This is somewhat paradoxical since humour was itself subject to rigorous social and administrative control in order to avoid possible disruption of public order and safety. These “voting jokes” probably goes to show that there is no such thing as a perfect society and that there always has to be some concession to individual expression.)

Primary cause of death among the X was exploding lungs consequent to suppressed sneezing. This accounts for well above half of the cases and was considered a natural cause. There were no diseases and no one died of old age. If an individual were still alive at the age when physical and mental deterioration were considered to set in (78 years for the male population and 82 for the female according to the last recorded statistics) they were put to death by lethal injection. In order not to submit the individual to unnecessary psychological distress this lethal dose was administered by arrows fired by specially trained riflemen who unfailingly caught the subject unawares. Since the poison killed instantly there was no suffering. (There were stories of victims mistakenly being hit by empty arrows used for training practices, but these were soon considered as urban myth.)

The circumstances surrounding the demise of the X and Xian society are unclear due to lack of documentation. It seems the meticulous public records that are often referred to in the surviving literature were destroyed, or is at least missing. Only copies of documents from the public files have been found, most often originating from local administrative offices. These can hardly account for more than fractions of one per cent of the total mass of records that must have existed. Consequently there has been an unsightly amount of speculation as to the cause and nature of the fall of this weird and wonderful people.
One of the most popular theories – probably because of its sensationalist nature – claims there was a kind of collective mental breakdown caused by the constant repression of anything imperfect and assymetric. A kind of mental equivalent to a collective lethal sneeze (see above), if you wish. The only evidence supporting this theory, and it is vague evidence, is a recorded slight rise in the kind of dissenting vote mentioned above. Thus in one late surviving document from the central Xian administration the percentage of votes not supporting the WXW rose from 0.00024% to 0.00036%. A dramatic rise, perhaps, but since we have no access to other data from that election we have no means of establishing the significance of this figure. It may even be a result of some statistical aberration. Disease is another popular theory, but that presumes an outside influence since there were no indigenous diseases. It has even been suggested that the X fell victim to a military attack – possibly biological – but this seems unlikely since they had no contact at all with other societies and their territorial possessions were of no strategical interest and held little natural resources. Collective suicide is another speculation, though for what reason one might ask. It has been suggested that it might have been a logical conclusion following an ultimate perfection in all matters of society, and that the X would then have regarded this as a completion of some kind of mission and seen no reason for further existence. This is however just as fanciful as any other explanation; it suggests a metaphysical view of life that finds no support in any trace left by the marvellous Xian society.
No, we must for the moment accept that we are at a loss as to the reason of their demise. And this would be in the spirit of this great society; after all, acceptance of ones own imperfection is less imperfect than groundless speculation. Our only hope lies in the future discovery of the lost documents of the central Xian administration. Until then, the scant fragments we have will have to serve as the basis for our understanding and admiration of this great civilization.

November 2011,

XAX HUUM VWAOWAV